Introduction
Breaking news: The Intel Core i9-13900K has achieved what seemed impossible - it depreciated less (-28.5%) than Intel stock (-28.5%) since 2022. Let’s mourn this financial anomaly together.
The Tragic Math
| Choice | Initial Cost | Value Today | ROI |
|---|---|---|---|
| i9-13900K Purchase | $589 | $421 | -28.5% |
| INTC Stock | $589 | $421.16 | -28.49% |
Loss: $167.84 (28.49%)
Timeframe: 9/1/2022 - 3/28/2025
Why This Hurts
- Historic First: Likely the only Intel CPU that outperformed its stock
- Silver Lining: At least the CPU still plays Cyberpunk 2077
- Dark Humor: Your $589 would’ve done better in a savings account (5% APY = $665 today)
2025 Survival Guide
- For Builders: Core i9-13900K (Now $299) - because why stop losing money?
- For Investors: Intel Turnaround Calculator
“When your processor outpaces your portfolio…” - Disappointed Investors Weekly
Visual Credits
GPU photo by Martin Katler, Chart via StockGainsCalculator
Affiliate Disclosure
As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.